Writing your own wedding vows
One of the major decisions facing Sedona wedding couples is whether to write and say their own weddings vows, or to repeat vows said to them by their wedding officiant. Below are common concerns about exchanging wedding vows you have created yourselves, and pointers on how to write and exchange your own vows.
Why you may choose to repeat your vows after your wedding officiant
While exchanging vows you have written yourselves adds a layer of meaning to your Sedona wedding, there is no denying that it is not for everyone. Some people simply are not confident in their writing skills, and feel overwhelmed by the task.
The pressure of putting their love into words can cast a shadow over the entire wedding experience, becoming an unwanted stressor on an otherwise joyful day. For others, the emotions that arise in sharing their deepest feelings, or in hearing their partner do so, are simply overwhelming, and they worry that they will be unable to get through their vows. If these are reasons why you are leaning away from creating your own vows, keep reading for how your Earth Elopements Sedona wedding officiant can help.
Why to write your own wedding vows, and how we help you enjoy the moment
One of the most meaningful parts of your Sedona wedding ceremony is the vow exchange. Creating your own vows to exchange adds a personal touch that simply can not be matched. Taking the time to write your vows is itself a true act of love, especially if you are not handy with words. As Sedona wedding officiants, we love the intimacy created with personal vows, and consider it a true honor to witnesses these words of love and devotion. If you are hesitant to exchange your own vows because of the emotions that may arise, it is our great joy to help you through the vow exchange. As meditation guides and yoga instructors, we are skilled at helping you stay open to each aspect of your wedding ceremony. To slow down the moment to enjoy hearing your partner’s words and sharing your own. We help you stay present to the beauty of your emotions during this sacred exchange. And tears? We love them! We can take a break during your vows to let you cry, and then pick up again when you feel centered and ready to continue. There is no hurry.
How to exchange wedding vows you have created yourselves
There are several ways you can have a personal vow exchange. Most commonly, couples have their vows pre-written on paper (there are lovely vow booklets you can buy or make yourselves, or a simple sheet of paper is fine) and simply read them.
Some couples have their vows on their phones to read. And there are those few who have memorized their words, or are comfortable simply speaking from their hearts in the moment.
For more private or self-conscious couples, as experienced Sedona wedding officiants we offer the option of having your wedding officiant step off into the distance so that you can exchange your vows in private. You may also want to exchange your vows privately before your wedding ceremony.
Whichever approach you choose, the challenge is to remain present to hear the words of your beloved without worrying about comparing your own words, or worrying about your turn. As officiants, we sometimes like to take the second partner’s vows and hold them, letting them take a moment to feel their partner’s vows before they say theirs in return.
What to include in your wedding vows
Not sure what to include in vows you write yourself? Happily, there are no rules! Let your heart tell you what you want to say to your beloved on your special day. Feel free to include humor and references to your own special language and experiences.
Tell your partner why the they are the one for you, and when you realized it. Spend some time alone reflecting on what you are committing to them not just for your special day, but for your lifetime. While as wedding officiants we love to hear the romantic declarations and promises of love, we find it even more touching when you promise to do your best in the years to come – when you acknowledge there will be struggles, but you are fully determined to work through challenges and to remember why you love your partner.
While you may want to share your vows with your partner in advance, letting them hear them for the first time during your ceremony is also a beautiful gift.
And in terms of length, as Sedona wedding officiants we have heard everything from under a minutes to a few minutes in length, so again, let your heart be your guide.
Decide in the moment
While it is good to have a plan about whether to say your own wedding vows, your Earth Elopements wedding officiant is flexible – just because you have written your vows does not mean you have to speak them if you become overwhelmed in the moment. So, if you are worried in advance that you may change your mind during your ceremony, just let your wedding officiant know to keep the pre-written vows in the ceremony so that you can choose that option. And on the flip side, if you have chosen to repeat vows from your wedding officiant, you can always ask us to pause so that you can speak from your hearts as well.
Stay in your heart - just as there is no exact “right” way to create your own vows, there is also no “wrong” way - just be yourselves and enjoy expressing your love and commitment in your own way.
